Smile if you've found your way

Comparing these last few days with the last couple of weeks is like comparing day and night. I walk out of the hospital with a smile on my face every afternoon, I wake up before my alarm goes off in the mornings and feel rested and ready for a new day, I read in my peadiatrics book twice a day for about 45 minutes and I just keep finding things I want to know more about. It's amazing and also quite new to me. I've always liked my job, sometimes even a lot - but this just feels right you know? I'm aware of the fact that I've bare been there two weeks, but still, I don't think it'll change, I think this is it, it's what I'm supposed to do. Just wanted to check in and here and make sure it didn't look like I'd been hammered completely to the ground by the hard weeks I had before. I won't be able to write a lot though cause I finally had to face facts and get my computer to the mechanics again - hopefully they'll keep her and give me a new one - but for the time being I'm laptop-less. It's quite the experiment I've got going here actually - no laptop, no tv and no lights, any body want to bet on how long before I officially go insane?

A bright future

Ever heard the saying (well song actually, but still…) “the future’s so bright I gotta wear shades”? Well my apartment is so bright I’m seriously considering putting my sunglasses on to just sit in my living room – I’m taking it as a sign that the future I’ve started in this place is going to be fabulous, and trying to ignore the fact that it’s causing me a migraine…

Oh and no, the chairs don’t usually stand that close together but I needed a kind of chaiselong while trying to sit as close to the balcony without actually having to go out into the eye of the storm that usually blows up here, and this turned out to be a pretty good solution – that’s until the future decided to blind me…

The second act

The last two weeks have been like a trip to hell and back. I know people go thru worse, trust me I see them go thru it on a daily basis – but still, for me this was a really crappy time and it’s stupid that I feel like I need to defend that.

The thing about changes is that you get a really good look at what’s constant. Every time my life turns a new corner and I feel like everything is changing I realize I’m almost always dealing with the same or very similar things as last time. It’s both uplifting and devastating, depending on the constant. Never ever having things in order on time, having to depend on other people to help me out and always feeling indescribably alone – it’s devastating. Always managing to get things done somehow, finding someone who can and will help and realizing I’m only as alone as I want to be – very uplifting. The second part just takes a little more effort to get too, I need to keep reminding myself that it does come and to not jump off a cliff (or walk in to the woods as my sister and I say…) after part one.

Today was the first day without unpacking and without boxes everywhere, the first day of me officially just living here – and also the first time I had a guest, I guess you can call this the start of part two.