Jun 12, 2013

The Journey

I reach down and give the 20 months old girl a kiss on the cheek while she looks at me with a shy but warm smile. She’s sitting on her favorite mini-scooter and in her hand she’s holding a white and red flag. Her dad is instructing her on how to wave goodbye with it while the cars drive off. She’s not mine – obviously. I wouldn’t be leaving for Africa for six months if she were.

  
The essence of what I've been doing the last ten days

In the car with the girl’s mom I can’t help but tear up. I’ve been living with my friend and her little family for the past ten days because my departure date got delayed and if you’re not made of stone you can’t help but get attached, I’m going to miss my little adoptive family! I've simply had an amazing time staying with them. 

At the airport stress takes over, as my bag is about ten kilos over the weight limit. It’s insane – I’ve hardly anything that is of very big importance in it, and up until a couple of days before leaving my apartment I was sure I wasn’t even going to be able to fill the bag. How wrong I was! But as I said, it’s just filled with “junk” so it’s actually not that hard to start pulling things out. I take it down 8kg and then the man in the counter takes pity on me and lets me get the last 4kg of overweight for free. I guess the MSF T-shirt and my friends talking loudly about how I’m going to Africa to “save little children” helps.

  
The essentials for a first time missioner

Suddenly it’s time to go thru security and my three best friends who’ve come to send me off all give me hugs and words of encouragement, and I’m reminded why it’s been so long since anyone has accompanied me to the airport; I can’t handle it. All the nerves and scary feelings bubble up and I can’t imagine how I’m supposed to manage the (probably) hardest six months of my life without them. Just before I go to the gate I take a couple of minutes in the washroom to splash some water on my face and try some deep breaths. Still the image of Aarhus getting smaller and smaller seen from the airplane window is completely blurry with tears.

  
One last day in civilization as my sister calls it - touristing in Brussels 

In Brussels I sleep amazingly well at the hotel that MSF has booked for me. The next day I have my HQ briefing – a long and a somewhat frustrating day, as expected. I find out that I’m not leaving for the field the same night as I’d been told, as there were no flights available, instead I’ll be leaving the day after in the evening. This means I get another night in a hotel and a day to explore Brussels, since it’s my first time here – it's fine by me! Though it would have been good to know before checking out of the hotel the same morning and having dragged around my heavy carry on all day, or having left my big luggage in a 24 hour box at the airport. But anyways...

  
A nice lunch and a stroll in the sun, just what I needed before my 9,5 hour flight

Today has been good. I’ve slept in and had a long and calm breakfast. I’ve ridden the tourist bus all through the city; I’ve seen the Atomium, eaten chocolate covered strawberries and had a nice lunch in the sun. Now I’m at the airport way before I’m actually flying. I don’t think I’ve ever been this early for a flight before! Then again I’ve never had a whole organisation involved in my trips before, and if I have one motto for this trip it’s better safe than sorry. So here I am, at the airport, four hours before take-off – and even before the check-in counter is opened! I’m doing a lot of new things this year, I’m guessing being early for a flight is going to be one of the smallest ones.

  
All changed and ready to go - and the last bit of luxury, a chocolate eclair while sitting on the floor of the airport

Well, I wrote that yesterday in the airport but turns out Brussels Airport doesn't have free wifi - cheap much...? Luckily the hotel here in Addis does - so here it comes, but pretend you're reading it yesterday ;-

Jun 5, 2013

The rush

Adrenalin is an amazing thing. When I get a call to hurry over to a baby that isn't breathing I immediately feel the rush of it bursting through my body; my muscles tens, my heart rate increases and my breathing quickens. For a second all my thoughts get jumbled up in my head and I start shaking - but just as quickly I'm on my way, I'm moving and my thoughts form around one sentence; "all you need is air!" It's what I build everything on - the baby needs to breathe and so do I - everything else is useless if that first thing isn't in place. It makes this insanely stressful situation manageable because if you know the first step it leads you to the second and so on. I know what to do and the difficult part is always the start - once you're going it's like riding a bike (on a tightrope between to skyscrapers - but still...). After you're done and the baby is good and stabile the adrenalin level falls quickly and the resulting exhaustion is comparable to the feeling after a good and long massage. It might sound like a weird comparison, but you're so relaxed and tiered that you feel like you could just sleep for days. 

I love the rush of adrenalin in that situation. It gives me the kick I need to perform my best no matter what time it is or how long ago I've slept or eaten. The thing is, that's not the only situation in which I get that rush. Lately I've felt it in various mundane situations provoked by random thoughts - well maybe not that random... It happens every time I start thinking about going to an underdeveloped country where security is an issue and where I won't have the same means to work with as here. The problem is that I don't know what to do with my tens muscles, shallow breathing and beating heart when I'm sitting on a bus on my way to work. I don't have any release for it so it just keeps building and I'm left with shaky hands and jumbled thoughts. I've scanned and printed my papers, made important phone calls and written important e-mails (which incidentally aren't as good an outlet for the overflow of adrenalin as bagging a baby, in case you were wondering...) and now all I can do is wait. Four more days of medium levels of adrenalin rushing through my system followed by six months of probably pretty high levels of the same - I'm thinking I'm going to sleep really well in December.

In the meantime I'm trying my hardest to relax, enjoy the summer and charge my batteries as much as possible.